Relations of life.

Every human being is a social animal. He craves for love and companionship. We may not realize or agree it when we think about it, but when you are left alone in the path of life, you realize that all successes, or all that you achieved does not make you fully happy. Family, relatives, friends, colleagues, life partner etc. Every person needs these, at least any one of them for survival. But the intricacies of the mind leaves us confused regarding all these relations and their meaning and essence in our life. All are different and plays a different role. Human beings are not so lucky to obtain all the relations in one person itself. The levels of importance and impact which these relations have on our life is distinguished by an unknown or undefined line of identification. But as always, this line is not clear or cannot be properly defined.

In this society, we consider family as the most important and is considered as the nucleus of which we are part of. Then there are the relatives, close friends, colleagues and acquaintances in that order. Even in Orkut, you can find the categorization of the same for the friends list. But recently when I tried to do the same, I got confused. There are friends who I have not met, but still are my good friends. There are people whom I know very well, but I seldom talk to them, just like an acquaintance. The same applies for relatives too. There maybe some distant distant relatives who may be integral part of family, but for us, they are just acquaintance. Then there are friends or colleagues to whom we reveal more than what we say to the family. All these complications therefore I feel is based on the dependency factor which becomes crucial in deciding the line of identification. More than blood or water or whatever which decides the thickness, I guess this dependency is what makes the relation thicker or thinner. But to make matters complicated while resolving them, this dependency factor is never constant. It keeps on changing over time, based on availability. But it keeps matters simple and plain, there by supporting the undefined and unnamed relations prevailing in the society.

Special brothers

August month has so much of memories to me. Lot many stories, so many birthdays. Not only August, but almost all months of the year from August has so many birthdays to remember. Apart from that, what makes August special is the famous Raksha bandhan festival, which is celebrated in northern parts of India as a big festival. Its the day when brother – sister relationship is given importance. Its celebrated in south India too, but not that special. For me, I never ever celebrated this, as I did not had any brothers. Mom used to cook special food and all, but apart from that, this had no relevance at all. But from the last year, I have met so many people who match that category of brothers. Those, who have really made me feel what all I have been missing and the kind of advice and care that brothers give to their sisters. And that too, when some are from different caste, it gives really different sense of aerie. Now, after all this months, when the season has come again, the pearls hooked up in some corner of the minds are being washed once more with the waves of memories, imprinting once more…Time passes by and along with them, the contacts too, and some others eventually has replaced the void; to bestow upon me, the advices and scoldings to change me only to find that whatever they are saying has no effect on me. But the good thing is they still keep on repeating and call me up whenever I need them, in spite of their personal and official busy lives!!

This month end, when all will be wishing and tying rakhi to their loving brothers, I am sure I will be thinking of some good old memories and the friends here as usual will be having a tough time to boost me up!! What to do, I want to change myself, but my mind does not allow me!!!

Hmm, poor brothers!!! Just hold on, I am trying my best…

Dear Friends,

August 5th. Everyone is busy wishing “Happy Friendship Day” to each other. I guess all do have friends. At least they think they have. But the importance of friends is known only when we are in crisis. When we need the support and care in the way we wish, we turn to them. For bringing back our minds from the big black hole of thoughts n sorrows and to give meaning to life. Friends to whom you can call when you feel dull, when you need money, when you want advice, when you get bored, when you are too happy or anytime…

There is this blog post by Chandni which entrusts the deep loneliness when we don’t have real friends in life. Life’s indeed boring for each n all, but these small small talks, laughs, jokes, incidents keeps you moving on and on… There has been another article on unthanked people, which reflects the importance of many special people in our lives to whom we should be grateful.

Even in our day-to-day lives, we find such saviors, without whom, we feel devastated. For me, most of such people fall in the category of friends. There are others too, unknown strangers who helps us in various forms of life. We keep remembering them and spread good words about them to all. But the near ones, like family n friends, we take for granted. They too should be thanked; why to leave them unthanked. Friendship is present in every relationship. And in the recent years, I have met few people to whom I owe lot, some who still keep in touch, but some who have lost the contact and some who though have the contact, are too lazy to call each other..

Today when the season is approaching, I wish to thank all the friends who came in my life, taught many things, gave me support, and lots of beautiful memories… Happy friendship day, my friend…

5 things about myself

This tag was playing around everywhere for a while long back, so since nothing else to blog, but since I want to blog, I am picking the tag without being tagged by anyone! I am not sure what five things I can write about which gives insight into my nature or behaviour to others. Hmm, let me try.

1. I hate tomatoes. But I can have them in the form of tomato ketchup or raw ones in salt, or along with burger.

2. I play veena a bit. Music has always been a passion, and veena I did learn for some time as part of it… But I don’t know why, I am not able to sing or play veena when someone asks me to do so. I really do hurt my parents cos of my this behaviour.

3. I get irritated and angry very fast, but I cool down instantly. I am extremely sensitive and emotional and think too much and can ponder over that and this and the results of which you people are reading this blog. So enjoy!!!

4. I used to or was an addict of Hindi serials. Rest of the time I used to sit glued to pc and if you ask what I will do, if net is there, I spend time browsing that n this, if not, I will check all the thorough analysis of all the folders, and if found any softwares, I try them out, or if I get any software, I install them, try it out, uninstall it, and this will go on till the pc gets stuck, which happens very fast usually. Don’t worry I do that especially if its not my PC!

5. I don’t know swimming. There are lot of sports and exercises which I have not played. In my young age, I wished to take participate in lots, but either my health or some reason or other posed as hindrance. Similarly roller skating, table tennis, badminton, squash (Did you know that I used to play with ball alone by hitting onto wall, and using my hand as bat, to imitate the game of squash!) are few games I had in my wish list. I used to play carroms with appa (carrom-specialist!!) and chess with the neighbour boy (to whom I lost all time )… Hmmm. Those were the days…

Emotional Rants…

I had plans of writing some blog posts, and had already written few, but not feeling like publishing them, cos it does not represent my state of mind today. For few days now, I feel like writing some cribbing posts, then felt cribbing is not a good thing to do. I am also getting angry at silly things, for tiny tiny events happening around me. I feel such emotions are felt, when some matters disturbs our inner state of mind. Strange is the human mind which generates so much emotions and associated thoughts. We have the anger, happy, sad, disappointment, pain, blankness, blah blah… And if not through one, it find its own way to be expressed out in some other form. Anyways I do not want to write a bad post in such a mood. Also I dont think anyone likes to read or cares about such rants of mine. Dont worry readers(if any), I will try my best to come back soon… I guess I ranted too much already. Aint I?? Hmmm…

25 rules for relationship!

PS: Another forwarded mail which claims the source as Psychology today site…

Human beings crave intimacy, need to love and be loved. Yet people have much trouble doing so.

It’s clear from the many letters I get that lots of folks have no idea what a healthy relationship even looks like. So I’m using this space as an attempt to remedy the problem.

From many sources and many experts, I have culled some basic rules of relationships. This is by no means an exhaustive list. But it’s a start. Print them out and pin them up on your refrigerator door.

Being a twenty-something…

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn’t know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren’t exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don’t recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren’t really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at wat ur studyin or ur job… and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn’t. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can’t meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone! but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you’re doing this because you know that you aren’t a bad person. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself… and while winning the race would be great, right now you are scared just to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that every one reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. Send this to your twenty-something friends… maybe it will help someone feel like they aren’t alone in their state of confusion…

Its called “Quarter-life Crisis.” nothing is constant……except change. wats life without a few risks?

PS: Got this as a forwarded mail, but found it to be so true……

The last words…

PS: From an article in a regional monthly magazine

Laxman was a good looking young man from a middle class family with a well-earning job. In his early youth, he had met with a bike accident which resulted in a severe blow to his head. After the incident, his life moved on without any issues. Few months after the incident, there was a gradual change in his behaviour; he got irritated very suddenly, got angry and violent impulsively, and behaved strangely. His family and relatives considered it as the rage of his age, and decided to get him married. The chosen one was Leela.

The life after marriage was not so smooth as all expected. Leela realized this in the first night itself. She moved on with life adjusting with the occasional violent behaviour of Laxman. In due time, Leela got pregnant but his behaviour never changed. At times, in his rage, he even tried to attack his wife violently.

In the end, Leela’s parents applied for divorce. Laxman himself came to leave her with care, at her home. The case went on in court, and meanwhile, Leela gave birth to a baby girl. Laxman went to see the baby to her house, but her family and relatives did not allow him to see his child.

Finally, Laxman’s family started treating him for his abnormality by sending him to a mental asylum(or hospital), where, after sometime, he committed suicide. His suicide note and last words looked like:

“Leela,
Whom does our child look like? Like mom or dad? Hope you’d bring her up nicely without letting her know that her father was mad, won’t you?”

For you…

Yesterday it was “Happy Mother’s Day”. This year I am missing my mom lot, she is just a call away, but still.. She calls me up daily, but still… She called me yesterday too, but… I still couldn’t say that! Lot many people keep saying that they hug and kiss their mom’s. And at the same time, they hide many facts from their mothers so that their moms don’t get hurt… I too do the same, but I try not to lie.. I just cant… She is always there for you, as a support, morally, when you are down at times and physically, when you are ill… Sometimes we feel that the generation gap has grown up too much that, we say excuses and lies to go out and do things which we feel right.. But I guess we often forget the fact, that no one can understand us better than our mom… I got a sms forward from my friend yesterday which absolutely said everything about her:
She loves you,
She cries for you,
She prays for you,
She gets concerned & angry at you,
She is none other than your mother.
Make your mother smile today…
Happy Mother’s Day!!

I love you amma.. And I miss you too….

Mind, heart and women….

Hmmm.. the issue of why women behave like this and that, and why men don’t understand many things has been the talk from the time, both were born! Intelligent people blame it on the genes, but I guess its almost true. Its the way the men and women developed themselves over these ages. In some books, they have given the explanation that its due to the pre-historic age, in which man worked for living while women in the cave looked after the family. That gives in for most of the behavior, but it also provides an insight of how human beings evolve over the ages.

The human being itself is a big complicated topic to talk about. Lots of things like God, existence of universe, and also the human beings are all matters to talk about, but the most intricate will be the human mind. There has been lots of theories on artificial intelligence which states how does human brain work, the explanations of various senses, feelings, reasoning, movements, etc etc. Thats too much into science now.

In general, people keep saying women think by heart while men think using mind and are more practical.Does heart think?? Is there something like heart? Whats brain does then? Is mind and brain same? What do people mean by practicality? Coming in terms with reality? Is there something like living in dreams then? Why does people think that only women are weak and men are strong while its just the opposite always!

Don’t we have a subconscious mind like a sixth sense which governs all our decisions? Trained like all other senses to get adjusted to the reality? Which also kindles the feelings of hopes n dreams and wishes named as wishes of heart? Which creates the different feelings of joy, sorrow, pain, disappointment, need, wants, affection, attraction with the help of chemical substances called hormones? Aren’t the terms practicality an abstract term which suppresses our feelings?

And everywhere they keep saying, women are stupid and weak. Why do they love their mothers then? For being stupids and idiots or cos of the love n affection? Why do they feel lonely without girlfriends? Is it only cos of the physical attraction or cos they need someone who understands them? If women are not so practical, then how can they take care of the family and the household? They say women are weak and always takes things to heart, if they too were practical as the guys were, why would ever guys turn to gals for support? Women are indeed practical, but they do think with heart or their instinct, just as how they protected their children n themselves by identifying danger in the prehistoric age. Men do have feelings and emotions more than women, but unlike women, they are used to not to show them out and move on easily.
(So beware, even when a woman says ‘nothing’ that means there is really ‘something’ and she wants the man to understand it implicitly!! But men rarely realizes it, but with age n time, the successful men realize it soon!!!)
Women also can argue and they can reason you out, and they can lead you or the business too, but everywhere they accept the defeat so that their men can win.And cos they are brought up in that way by the time.

Its really pity that some men don’t give the respect to woman as much as she needs and instead keep hurting her…