Honest confessions

I have always been notorious from school days for being blatant. And that has been my policy with other people too. I know it hurts others at some times, but though I cannot withstand the same from other people, my stand remains the same. Maybe it runs in my veins. Hence it was no surprise to me when S3 gave me this yet another award for being honest! (oh yeah!!)

Looking back, I can only remember painful anguish, disbelief and blankness on the faces of people who I have been honest to. Hence being truthful or honest, is the most risky thing to do, as most people term them as arrogant and blunt and short tempered. Honesty is the best policy only when the situation is apt or the persons are suited for being honest to.

Twinkle twinkle little star….

It has brought back memories… Another award from Sree. I guess I should in turn award him as the best blog-award buddy for showering me most awards in the past few months… (which equals to 3!!) The following star award reminds me of several things.

Reminds me of the small star rank badges I received in school, which in turn reminds me of the other badges like blue house captain, green house captain, NSC badge and all those things, which I always kept in my school bag, so that I do not forget to wear them the next day…

Reminds me of the colorful Christmas stars hung at our house, which my father and I used to take up as a project, which also reminds me of a brilliant(!) idea I once offered him, how to extend the electrical connection from inside a room bulb socket, and how I used to wonder at the patterned lighting that came through the holes in the star and lit the porch staircase, where I used to sit talking with my mom and dad while they strolled in front of the house…

Reminds me of the shining stars in the sky, which reminds me of the part in Kuch Kuch Hota hai, where the little boy counts the stars, and the metaphors related to the inability of counting the stars in the sky, and also of my dear moon, whom I gazed a lot from the balcony of house in Chennai, talking to him when I felt like talking to myself….

And last, but not the least, the evergreen song of which I liked the tune most rather than the words, making me remind of my stint with music in my life…
Twinkle twinkle little star,
How I wonder what you are
Up above the world so high
Like a diamond in the sky!

Pen pals or Tweetpals?

Prologue:

Recently, I saw this website, Letters of Note in my Google Reader. Then there was a tweet from Shashi Tharoor on World Literacy Day. Along with it, this post by Sanjukta about Twitter. The era of letters, posts, stamps, inland covers, flashed back onto me.  Mixed thoughts streamed into my mind and got squeezed out to form the final words currently being penned down.

Loss of Pen pal system

Long back, there were inland letter posts from aunts and friends to my mom, following the traditional way of keeping in touch. I never got one, except for greeting cards and one or two anonymous love letters. I was grown up in the telephonic era. Not the mobile, but the old faithful land line. The times when the 5-digit numbers were used instead of the current 8-digit phone numbers.

IT ya Non-IT?

The Times of India job supplement, Ascent, had six pages today. Few weeks back, it contained mostly advertisements of the newspaper itself rather than of any jobs. I could find in that today, a few job openings were there. Even if it is one or two companies, it may be indicating that the situation is improving. Or atleast a hope, that it may improve.

On top of it, last day I heard a good news that one of our friends who was out of job for months, had finally got a job. And also another news that some others almost want to quit their job, because they are enough of it! Contradiction! Right?

IPC Section 377 and LGBT

The Section 377 is making headlines these days. Recently held Gay parade had so much publicity in the news papers.

It means India too is changing, with the enormous people coming forward revealing their sexuality. Now there would be more of films dealing with this topic and that too serious ones and not like the film “Dostana”. And there would be celebrity gay and lesbian couples and their gossip in the “Bangalore Times”.

Another V-day…

Every time in February, when this day arrives, i could hear mixed emotions from different people. Some say, why they need it, some cry that they are still single, and some other cherishes the special moments they weave up on that day.  I had already penned down my thoughts on the Valentine’s day long before and they remain still true for me.

With the recent protests and campaigns the spirit has got boosted, maybe people are making plans already. And if you haven’t I guess you should.

Predicting your life

The love day is about to begin within a week. But before finding love, did you consult the astrologer?

A popular debate on a TV show revealed that people , rather younger generation are now more keen towards the arranged marriage. And most of the arranged marriages happen mostly with the consultation of the astrologers. How does horoscopes affect marriages? Not only the horoscopes, but many other factors like the place and date and time of birth decides many important milestones of our lives. Should we rely on them to lead our lives?

Tear Analysis of Roger Federer

It seems every Monday of this year is hitting me hard. Last month, a similar Monday, I had started off the new year. And today, I start off another month. But the situation remains the same. I did try to ward off the blues but I guess, its the hangover of yesterday’s match which made Roger Federer cry!! (Yeah, I do keep blurting out PJ’s in between to cheer up myself!)

From last night, I had so many ideas in mind, but the clouds didn’t seem to clear. I was reading whole morning of the news reports of the Australian Open Final match. Especially the interviews and photos. Not that I am such a dying hard of both the players! (I came to know about tennis and these two only very recently, thanks to RK) The outburst of feelings and emotions, and then the consolation of Rafael Nadal, had stirred my mind regarding the friendships among the rivalry. And also the common topic of men crying in public.

Gandhi and I…

January 30. The day when the father of the nation, Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi, was assassinated.

I remember this day from the school. At the assembly, on this day, we would be reminded to follow the silent standing ceremony at around 10 or 10.30 am. The bell would ring at an odd time in midst of the class period, and we would all stand for one single minute in silence to commemorate the assassination of Gandhiji. We considered this break a warm welcome to the same routine of the teaching. In those days, I don’t remember having a break in the morning session.

In the high school, we had to study full history and autobiography of Gandhiji, “My Experiments with Truth”, in the form of English-II subject. Though it was the edited or the simplified version, we had to study his whole life. It was interesting at some points, but from the point of view of exams, it was not. I even once wondered, if Gandhiji was not there, we would have escaped this subject etc!

When I was in school, I remember watching the film Gandhi, on either August 15th, January 26th or October 2nd. But I remember the school book rather than the film.

The Vortex

Today, I was just going through the archives. I feel that I have reduced penning down my thoughts and feelings. Rather the short stories, movie reviews, articles, recent happenings are the topics I have been blogging off late.

There was a time, when I used to blog, when my mind blew out of the proportion with suffocating words and rants. For me, at that time, I never cared about the number of readers, or the traffic. I blurted out all my thoughts, sometimes directly or sometimes through analogy. I used to finish the posts within half hour or so, and without spell checking or re-reading the draft, I just published.

Now looking back, I feel those posts do have a personal touch and is more readable. Like the innocent outburst of a child. It worked, because things happened at that time. The race with time, the busy life schedule with many many things, the glimpses at various nook n corner of city life which gave spark to various thoughts and views.

I do not wonder what has changed. I know what has happened. And I know what should I do to change. But then, something is pulling me back. Maybe its the fears or the various choices available. The point of time when you feel like slapping yourself for the inability. The time when heart says lovingly to wake up, and when mind pushes it down with the lame and age-old excuses of practicality. The time when you await for your heart and the soul to win over the mind battle. The time when you await the death so that you could be re-born to a fresh life.

People say, time heals everything. It answers the strangling questions you have been asking in the early ages. But then, how do we wait for time until it heals or gives me the answers? Isn’t time running away? From me and from my life?

The vortex has knocked me out into the deep darkness of unconsciousness.

PS: This post too has been completed now within half hour. You do have it in you, when it wants to surmount you.