Mommy rambles again…

N is growing up. I just can’t get enough of saying that again and again. It keeps repeating in my mind, whenever I see her giving me that mischievous smile, or when hugging onto me, making sad face when I raise my voice, or when trying to stand with support or climbing the stairs and so on.. I have already started missing her babyhood.. And why not, she’s nearing one! Can you imagine.. I don’t know how one year passed away.. I agree there were hard times in between, but there were also the milestone achievement days, when she tumbled over, started to speak, sit and all. I did want to remember all the dates, but in the flow, I forgot to write them down.

Searching for first birthday celebrations online, I found so many people celebrating their young ones’s birthday with so much pomp, that I get jealous. But on second thoughts, I realize the kid would have much harder time that day seeing all the new faces, and going through what would be her/his first real party. Then I read this post, and now I plan to preserve those dresses and other items, till I get a beautiful trunk like this one.

Yeah, the home decor madness has not left me, rather has increased day by day, from the time I have started following Preethi. As mentioned in my last post home decor items are very expensive here, maybe everywhere, if you go searching them in various lifestyle stores. The eco-friendly products, recycled products, and indian handmade crafts turn out to be much cheaper especially in select startup stores, which are increasing day by day in Bangalore. Facebook is a treasure for finding such local people, local stores, and online stores for such inexpensive home decor products.

Another dilemma is regarding work. I could find so many people started working after being mom, but I wonder how they could entrust their child in some other hands. I agree there is a big bonus financially with double incomes, but what about the salary to the maid, cook, or help or day care, and the emotional trauma we give the child? Sometimes I feel I did the right thing, and the next minute, career-oriented educated woman inside me wakes up from nowhere. It starts bashing me, asking what am I doing whole day sitting at home, running behind toddler,fighting with her tantrums, not even looking after myself, and getting mad at not getting a break!

And then, N starts again.. She looks at me so innocently with a twinkle in her eye(really I could feel that, I guess all moms would agree on this), hiding a smile at the corner of her lips, waiting to crawl forward, once I start moving towards to catch her..

That.. answers me…

Mommy thoughts..

There were days when you were carrying her on your front waiting for that one day, when she would give a peek of herself and you would get over with what you have bared up with for nine months. And when she did, you start missing those indescribable beautiful feeling of kicks..

The initial post natal days are so tough that you wish the baby would grow up soon so that you can be free again and be not bound for breast feeding. And when she stands on her own, you feel how big she has grown and wish for the cute days once more when she would beat her legs in happiness, making the old bed creak…

The day I start missing her babyhood
is very near…

And then, there would be soon one day when she is so independent, that she can be on her own in a day care or with relatives and then to school, moving to her own bed and maybe one day demanding a room, leaving RK and me to watch her grow to a young woman….

The day I would start missing her childhood…

What a dilemma…

Back as a mom!

First post as a mom! Woohoo..!

I could find so many mommy blogs, who blog from day one, recalling all their experiences of the day and the D-day, and what not. I wonder where do they get time for all these. My li’l one, N is now 9 months, and still I could find barely enough time to write this post in a hurry. Just to keep the blog alive. And to remind myself that I could find time for myself..

But if I start writing on mommy things, this would turn out to be a mommy blog which I don’t want to. Rather I consider this as my personal blog, which could contain these kind of posts too, but along with it, I feel it should contain some techie things which I browse, the new mobile which I am using, or other philosophical and innermost thoughts, my conflicts on whether to join job or not, my new found interests in home decor and my new home etc etc.. Hmmm..

Meanwhile checkout other mommy blogs, I found recently. Not the popular ones, but good blogs of mothers who shared their day-to-day life as mom, but which may not have comments, and some of which may not have been updated recently…

http://bangalore-mom.blogspot.com/

http://theerailivedin.wordpress.com

http://indianinfant.blogspot.com/

Long time!

Yes its been long time. When I started this blog, I never had plans to update it daily. It was just a medium to vent out my ramblings. I never bothered about the frequency of the posts, or the topics I plan to write about etc. And because of the same, i got many ‘suggestions’ from the readers, that the writing could be more better, etc etc. I guess, at some point I fell into the trap of money-making business through blogs. And so, after a surge in the readership, page views, ad clicks, irrelevant topics, and river of processed and hand-picked words, this blog saw the downside of it all. It remained silent…

One click…

One click.

A child receiving his wages from the master,
The happiness of having a whole meal,
The satisfaction of having notes of money,
The responsibility for himself and family, if any,
The independence, the loneliness,
And the innocence…
One click reveals it all…

One click.

Anxious passengers waiting for bus,
The plight of the people and the bus stop,
The hope of reaching their destination,
Prayers for time and life to stop ticking,
The joy of freed school children,
And the exhausted old grandma…
One click reveals it all…

One click.

The adventures of train travel,
The immense length of the train,
The location and appearance of people,
Meetings and good-byes at the same time,
The pleasure of vacation start,
And the tears of separation…
One click reveals it all…

Home Decor Fetish

Wanna know why I have been busy and not posting any blog posts off late? Well, there are many reasons, but for now, the fetish of home decor has creeped onto me. Maybe, being a house wife and being at home, initiated this in my mind. I do try to minimize the expenditure due to this newly found interests, though sometimes it goes out of hand.

There was a time, when I used to cringe at a book or magazine if it cost more than Rs.20. Now I am buying occasionally magazines of Rs.100 just to look at the style pictures and drool over it. One thing I realized is, there is no such home decor magazine meant for middle class people. Most of the cover story deals with highly priced luxury items, which makes us think that home decor is expensive, while I believe its contrary. The creative ideas, and simple ways of rearranging, and making re-use of old items are mostly inexpensive. Then, as usual, I latched onto the greatest resource of all. The internet. The innumerous blogs by interior decorators, or designers, or photographers, created just by passion gives a whole lot of ideas than those highly priced books.

Neighbourhood problems!

Being a fan of  ‘The Hindu’ newspaper at native home, ‘The Times of India’ newspaper in Bangalore home was a refreshing change. It was more colorful, had more news (though some are irrelevant) and had bullet point short notes as summary. It would be easy to say, that I read more news from that newspaper just because of its layout and pointed reports.

There is a column in the newspaper, reporting civic problems, with images or mails from the residents, which I normally ignore as most of them would be full of complaints and cribbing. One day, accidentally and surprisingly, I noticed that one unknown resident in the same street as I lived, has reported about the bad conditions of the road.

IT ya Non-IT?

The Times of India job supplement, Ascent, had six pages today. Few weeks back, it contained mostly advertisements of the newspaper itself rather than of any jobs. I could find in that today, a few job openings were there. Even if it is one or two companies, it may be indicating that the situation is improving. Or atleast a hope, that it may improve.

On top of it, last day I heard a good news that one of our friends who was out of job for months, had finally got a job. And also another news that some others almost want to quit their job, because they are enough of it! Contradiction! Right?

Rama Rama Kya Drama!

Men complain they cannot watch serials. That they cannot withstand all the “rona dhona” and all. But even if you switch off the television, how will you keep your eyes closed with all the drama happening around you?

Fizaaaaa….. Fizaaa……!!!! (Song from “Fiza” film)!!

Yes! Chand has come back to Fiza. Is Karan Johar listening? He would have got a triangular love story by now. Not that he would not have already got 3 or 4 love stories in mind, but still… I guess, soon there would be a film by him on polygamy and the upcoming trends of “indecisive love” which would mean, ‘unable to know whom you are loving’. Film name would be “Kaun Kisse Karta Hai Pyar”. As he has got out of his K word, it could also maybe “Fiza Chand” or “Chand Fiza”. The song lyrics would now surely contain those words, “Chand” and “Fiza” as they are very poetic not only in names, but also in real life.

The First Year…

People say “marriages are made in heaven”. But they forget that after marriage they have to live on this earth!

The first year is supposed to be the most beautiful moments, after the engagement to marriage period. I do not deny, but then we never know what lies in the future. May be its more bright than now? They say love dithers over years especially when all get busy with their lives and responsibility increases over money, land, parents, children and themselves. But maybe its just that love has found its base, and has gotten invisible over the years, just as the love we have towards our parents.