Mommy rambles again…

N is growing up. I just can’t get enough of saying that again and again. It keeps repeating in my mind, whenever I see her giving me that mischievous smile, or when hugging onto me, making sad face when I raise my voice, or when trying to stand with support or climbing the stairs and so on.. I have already started missing her babyhood.. And why not, she’s nearing one! Can you imagine.. I don’t know how one year passed away.. I agree there were hard times in between, but there were also the milestone achievement days, when she tumbled over, started to speak, sit and all. I did want to remember all the dates, but in the flow, I forgot to write them down.

Searching for first birthday celebrations online, I found so many people celebrating their young ones’s birthday with so much pomp, that I get jealous. But on second thoughts, I realize the kid would have much harder time that day seeing all the new faces, and going through what would be her/his first real party. Then I read this post, and now I plan to preserve those dresses and other items, till I get a beautiful trunk like this one.

Yeah, the home decor madness has not left me, rather has increased day by day, from the time I have started following Preethi. As mentioned in my last post home decor items are very expensive here, maybe everywhere, if you go searching them in various lifestyle stores. The eco-friendly products, recycled products, and indian handmade crafts turn out to be much cheaper especially in select startup stores, which are increasing day by day in Bangalore. Facebook is a treasure for finding such local people, local stores, and online stores for such inexpensive home decor products.

Another dilemma is regarding work. I could find so many people started working after being mom, but I wonder how they could entrust their child in some other hands. I agree there is a big bonus financially with double incomes, but what about the salary to the maid, cook, or help or day care, and the emotional trauma we give the child? Sometimes I feel I did the right thing, and the next minute, career-oriented educated woman inside me wakes up from nowhere. It starts bashing me, asking what am I doing whole day sitting at home, running behind toddler,fighting with her tantrums, not even looking after myself, and getting mad at not getting a break!

And then, N starts again.. She looks at me so innocently with a twinkle in her eye(really I could feel that, I guess all moms would agree on this), hiding a smile at the corner of her lips, waiting to crawl forward, once I start moving towards to catch her..

That.. answers me…

Mommy thoughts..

There were days when you were carrying her on your front waiting for that one day, when she would give a peek of herself and you would get over with what you have bared up with for nine months. And when she did, you start missing those indescribable beautiful feeling of kicks..

The initial post natal days are so tough that you wish the baby would grow up soon so that you can be free again and be not bound for breast feeding. And when she stands on her own, you feel how big she has grown and wish for the cute days once more when she would beat her legs in happiness, making the old bed creak…

The day I start missing her babyhood
is very near…

And then, there would be soon one day when she is so independent, that she can be on her own in a day care or with relatives and then to school, moving to her own bed and maybe one day demanding a room, leaving RK and me to watch her grow to a young woman….

The day I would start missing her childhood…

What a dilemma…

Back as a mom!

First post as a mom! Woohoo..!

I could find so many mommy blogs, who blog from day one, recalling all their experiences of the day and the D-day, and what not. I wonder where do they get time for all these. My li’l one, N is now 9 months, and still I could find barely enough time to write this post in a hurry. Just to keep the blog alive. And to remind myself that I could find time for myself..

But if I start writing on mommy things, this would turn out to be a mommy blog which I don’t want to. Rather I consider this as my personal blog, which could contain these kind of posts too, but along with it, I feel it should contain some techie things which I browse, the new mobile which I am using, or other philosophical and innermost thoughts, my conflicts on whether to join job or not, my new found interests in home decor and my new home etc etc.. Hmmm..

Meanwhile checkout other mommy blogs, I found recently. Not the popular ones, but good blogs of mothers who shared their day-to-day life as mom, but which may not have comments, and some of which may not have been updated recently…

http://bangalore-mom.blogspot.com/

http://theerailivedin.wordpress.com

http://indianinfant.blogspot.com/

The New Life

Just few more weeks to go….

Though the oncoming responsibility is nearing the shore to put down its anchor, for me, it still seems to be on the horizon. The realization will dawn over the time, I suppose, just like in the process of marriage…

Every month, on reading the fetal development facts online or from magazines, I am amazed at the marvelous project called human being created or formed by the Unknown. I presume, this complexity maybe far far higher than that from other organisms.

Long time!

Yes its been long time. When I started this blog, I never had plans to update it daily. It was just a medium to vent out my ramblings. I never bothered about the frequency of the posts, or the topics I plan to write about etc. And because of the same, i got many ‘suggestions’ from the readers, that the writing could be more better, etc etc. I guess, at some point I fell into the trap of money-making business through blogs. And so, after a surge in the readership, page views, ad clicks, irrelevant topics, and river of processed and hand-picked words, this blog saw the downside of it all. It remained silent…

One click…

One click.

A child receiving his wages from the master,
The happiness of having a whole meal,
The satisfaction of having notes of money,
The responsibility for himself and family, if any,
The independence, the loneliness,
And the innocence…
One click reveals it all…

One click.

Anxious passengers waiting for bus,
The plight of the people and the bus stop,
The hope of reaching their destination,
Prayers for time and life to stop ticking,
The joy of freed school children,
And the exhausted old grandma…
One click reveals it all…

One click.

The adventures of train travel,
The immense length of the train,
The location and appearance of people,
Meetings and good-byes at the same time,
The pleasure of vacation start,
And the tears of separation…
One click reveals it all…

Home Decor Fetish

Wanna know why I have been busy and not posting any blog posts off late? Well, there are many reasons, but for now, the fetish of home decor has creeped onto me. Maybe, being a house wife and being at home, initiated this in my mind. I do try to minimize the expenditure due to this newly found interests, though sometimes it goes out of hand.

There was a time, when I used to cringe at a book or magazine if it cost more than Rs.20. Now I am buying occasionally magazines of Rs.100 just to look at the style pictures and drool over it. One thing I realized is, there is no such home decor magazine meant for middle class people. Most of the cover story deals with highly priced luxury items, which makes us think that home decor is expensive, while I believe its contrary. The creative ideas, and simple ways of rearranging, and making re-use of old items are mostly inexpensive. Then, as usual, I latched onto the greatest resource of all. The internet. The innumerous blogs by interior decorators, or designers, or photographers, created just by passion gives a whole lot of ideas than those highly priced books.

Twinkle twinkle little star….

It has brought back memories… Another award from Sree. I guess I should in turn award him as the best blog-award buddy for showering me most awards in the past few months… (which equals to 3!!) The following star award reminds me of several things.

Reminds me of the small star rank badges I received in school, which in turn reminds me of the other badges like blue house captain, green house captain, NSC badge and all those things, which I always kept in my school bag, so that I do not forget to wear them the next day…

Reminds me of the colorful Christmas stars hung at our house, which my father and I used to take up as a project, which also reminds me of a brilliant(!) idea I once offered him, how to extend the electrical connection from inside a room bulb socket, and how I used to wonder at the patterned lighting that came through the holes in the star and lit the porch staircase, where I used to sit talking with my mom and dad while they strolled in front of the house…

Reminds me of the shining stars in the sky, which reminds me of the part in Kuch Kuch Hota hai, where the little boy counts the stars, and the metaphors related to the inability of counting the stars in the sky, and also of my dear moon, whom I gazed a lot from the balcony of house in Chennai, talking to him when I felt like talking to myself….

And last, but not the least, the evergreen song of which I liked the tune most rather than the words, making me remind of my stint with music in my life…
Twinkle twinkle little star,
How I wonder what you are
Up above the world so high
Like a diamond in the sky!

Of Telangana, Chetan, Piracy and Twitter!

Last year, the same month, I had proudly presented an article on how to remove writer’s block. And now, I needed it the most! Oh! Don’t worry, this is not going to be another sadistic post.

I wonder whether its the twitter activity that has hindered me from writing the posts. Every time I think of something, I realize I could summarize it in 140 words or even less. As per many blogs providing blogging tips, this finding has been true. And of course, I am writing this post now, after few days of being inactive on twitter!! But still, I have found so many people still writing even though they are active on twitter.

Honest Scrap Indeed!!!

October indeed is my birth month. No wonder good things are happening more often. The latest is an another award for this blog from S3 aka Sreeram. Thanks a lot for gifting me, my ‘second’ blog award.

Unlike last award, this one is more formal. It has some rules and regulations. !

The rules are:

“When accepting this auspicious award, you must write a post bragging about it, including the name of the misguided soul who thinks you deserve such acclaim, and link back to the said person so everyone knows she/he is real. Choose a minimum of seven (7) blogs that you find brilliant in content or design. Or improvise by including bloggers who have no idea who you are because you don’t have seven friends. Show the seven random victims’ names and links and leave a harassing comment informing them that they were prized with Honest Weblog. Well, there’s no prize, but they can keep the nifty icon.List at least ten (10) honest things about yourself. Then pass it on!”